It’s snowing today. Snow is just something that never stops making me happy. Everything gets covered in a twinkling winter wonderland, which is not how I grew up, having always lived in the sun belt.
Every year at this time my heart fills with the glee of it. Snow!
Luckily for me, snow didn’t start falling until after I got home from an Al-Anon meeting. As usual, I am so glad I went. It was warm and comfortable as I just listened today to the heartfelt honesty of how we learn to love ourselves. For me there was a bright light of hope.
Little snips of what each person said was exactly what I needed to hear. Escaping self-made drama was one of the best.
I don’t have to live in drama today, even though events may feel dramatic.
Yesterday my father called. I told you that already. But the rest of the story is about why he had not contacted me previously, and how I took that as personal rejection, until I learned of what happened.
My father had been in surgery for throat cancer.
Here we are, trying to have our first conversation in over ten years and he could hardly talk. Yet he tried, and I am so grateful that as rough as it was I could hear his voice. I could tell he was happy to hear from me.
While my mind could jump to the disaster here, you’ve taught my heart to look for the gift. Thank you for showing me this because I know now where to look.
Just at the perfect moment God comes through for me. I wonder if a moment too soon would have found me unprepared. Unprepared to let go of the past. Unprepared to accept what is compared to what I would have wanted. Unprepared to find forgiveness and compassion. Unprepared to love.
My mind wants to jump to the end of the story before the truth unfolds. Thank you for showing me this because now I know to cherish the moment.
I don’t know what I can do for him today, but I stopped after the meeting to pick up a couple cards. I am sending him positive thoughts, encouragement for the conversations we will have in the future, news of my happiness and how much I love snow.
I don’t know what else I can give him except peace.
Today God gave me snow.
Every day matters.
3 comments:
I like snow too but seldom get any here. Maybe this year? Glad that you connected with your dad. And I like what you wrote about letting go of the past and being with him in the present. That is such a gift!
what a heart warming post (but not too warm, dont want to melt the snow).
Congrats on the reconnect with him, and what a great idea to send those cards. Your recovery is shining!
I had to accept that some people don't have the ability to see how their actions have affected someone else.
It is good you can find some peace and let some of the pain go.
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