Dream A Little Dream

Where there is no vision, the people perish. 

~ Proverbs 29:18

Drive into Skull Valley, Arizona

As the new year approaches I am thinking about goals for this coming year. Where do I want to go? What do I want that will make my life better?

Recently my dentist, of all people, has put me on a life track. I need medical and dental insurances. Health issues going on inside of my mouth is futuristically going to require me to look into costly and necessary procedures to save my teeth. Thankfully there is nothing I have to do today, but realistically I know that day is coming.

I have spent the beginning years of my recovery experimenting with possible paths. I’ve taken off from working in a casino and gone to school full time for a year. I’ve worked in a doctor’s office and then for the government doing social work. And now, as you know, I’ve come full circle to working in a casino again.

I don’t regret any of these new ideas I’ve followed with all the experiences I’ve been afforded in these endeavors. It may be what I’ve needed to get sober and stay clean. It’s been a journey of finding answers and asking questions, but today I feel the need to move closer to security.

I guess my goal this year is to settle down. I love living here, and would not mind it if God deems that I stay. My employment here is gratifying, with the income to sustain my life, and room for me grow and develop spiritually by being a little light in the corner, but it is a precarious position, unstable in that I am only scheduled when I am needed and those parameters can change at any minute.

This year my goal is to throw my resume into the wind to see if my dream of a secure position can be accomplished. I’m sure it will, but I need to start with the footwork.

My dream: to obtain a full time job with a company where I can grow. I would like to plant roots someplace, perhaps live in a small house, then in that stability find out what I really want to pursue as a passion. I have so many ideas on that.

Have you considered that it’s the feeling behind what you think you want? You may consider that having something externally like a new home will make you happy, but it’s really the internal feeling of peace, happiness, security, comfort, joy and love that you create when you visualize what you would like. ~ Elisabeth Blaikie, founder of Fragrant Heart Centered Meditations.

I do affirm that most of what I think I may find someplace else I already have. I don’t have to pack all my personal belongs in boxes for peace, or happiness, or comfort, or joy. In fact, in the process of moving on I may lose some of that temporarily. My fear is that I will, but I always like to remind my daughter in her life plan: “Short term pain, long term gratification.”

I don’t know what is going to happen next. It is a tough economy out there, and it feels like the obstacles might be insurmountable. Searching different web-sites for employment opportunities shows me that there are very few positions advertised, yet I am going to send my resume regardless.

My goal is to set a goal, make a plan, follow through one step at a time, dream, focus, and leave the outcome to my Higher Power.

I’ve applied online with a casino in Phoenix that was advertising for dealers. After visiting California and being around my family I’ve considered how nice it might be to return to that area. I’ve made a list of places there where I could apply. Initially I know I like living in the sunbelt and will pretty much keep my pursuits in the western regions, with places like New Mexico also in my mail out. I could go as far south as the east coast, or even end up in the Virgin Islands. Who knows?

Focusing on goals, whatever they may be, short term or long term, gives life energy and promotes more likely success. Through my intuition and ideas, God has probably been directing me toward this goal anyway.

Every day matters.